just a lot of demos

by denise t

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released December 30, 2016

thank u raymond for coming back from georgia and clapping with me and making me laugh a lot while making this




denise t Queens, New York

ur mcm practices guitar with a metronome and ur mcm is not me

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Track Name: i wish i knew you as a kid
you are the sea
i can drown in you
but i could be a mountain
i could be great too
dont worry about me
i can hardly move
i could start fires for what i feel for you
you're really great and i dont know what i'd do
without you, i dont think i would exist
i wish i knew you as a kid
i wish i knew you as a kid
Track Name: cold water
think about last summer
new hampshire sun on my skin
nothing matters nothings important

i read books i wrote poetry i feel grass on my toes
i feel at home

i saved all ur letters
even the ones i never sent
even though theyre all licked and stamped

i called you that night
and you didnt pick up
i missed you so much

everyone here is nice its surprising
to feel this at ease
as if nothing in the entire world
could ever bother me

swim in cold water
goosebumps on my skin

and stars that i wouldnt be able to see in a city
laughing and crying and more laughing
you wouldnt believe. i was so happy!
Track Name: days
i like the way the cold makes my nose glow
i watch the snow spiral out of control
i hold in my breath, i hold it in close
i want to speak, i want you to know

i listened to my favorite sad song today
when its dark outside, i notice everything
like the guy that smelled like you on the train
or how wet my shoes will get in the rain

tomorrow is a different day
tomorrow we’ll be older
tomorrow i wont know your name

feel my fingertips turn numb from the cold
think about your hips, i think about the warmth
i die a little inside everything i miss your hands
its not fair the way youve made a home in my head

next week, itll be a different year
happy birthday! i wish i was never here
happy holidays! we havent spoken since last may
Track Name: hi bye hello yellow
two heads in a parking lot
i wanna tell you i love you but its not enough
street lamp lights the way at night
i wanna tell you i love you but it doesnt feel right

and ur scared
i am too
and none of this is news
and ur distant
im compliant
and thats what i like the most about u

my head hurts with the thought of leavin
i wanna stay here forever even

if that means
dyin young
light a cigarette and tell me and the one

ive tied my shoes and im ready to go anywhere with you
ive got my clothes im ready to know anything about u
Track Name: On my way!
cigarette breathes in the winter time
you make me choke you make me lose half a life
you stand at the edge of subway platforms
you hold your head high you hold your head high

and you dont know whats comin
youve got the world in ur hands
i just wanna hold ur hand

last week you called when i was in the city
im coming home im coming home
2.75 on my card
you have me whole, you have me whole

and you dont know whats comin
youve got the world in ur hands
i just wanna hold ur hand
and you know whats comin
im comin thru
im comin to u

its not fair the way youve
made a home in my head
its not fair the way youve
made a home in my head
Track Name: silence
hold your hand on the front porch
tell me goodbye from your living room window
i thought about you on my walk home
i cant believe this is how we exist
in silence
in silence

i wouldnt miss you
as much if i didnt care
half as much, i wanna know
in silence
i wanna know
in silence

do you ever feel like dyin
cuz im dyin to know
do you ever feel like crying
cuz zz im crying for u

why dont u meet me afterschool
ill buy you anything you want
ill watch you stand
by the bus stop
in silence

have you ever felt your skin crawl
with the thought of being alone
in silence
do u wanna know?